


Totally Bananas

by ffidjit



Category: Bleach
Genre: (with beta because I am a coward), 11th Devision, Bananas, Fruit, Gen, Gotei 13 - Freeform, Grimmjow as confused bastard, Humor, Ikkaku is a bit afraid, Yumichika is a fucking delight, but game, eat healthy, give him a challenge and he'll do it, no fruit harmed while writing this fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:02:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28579440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffidjit/pseuds/ffidjit
Summary: The 11th Division gets a supply of fresh fruit because they should eat more healthily.Shenanigans ensue.(this fic was solely written for reasons of personal indulgence)
Kudos: 13





	Totally Bananas

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't watched Bleach in a while but this little plot bunny wouldn't leave me alone.  
> Just bear with me and my happy place where Grimmjow just chills in Sereitei and joins the 11th  
> (because admit it, they would get along splendidly!)
> 
> This is my first fic posted here and English is not my native tongue - please be nice :)  
>  _(I had friends read it before finally deciding to post it but all mistakes are mine (: Thank you <3)_
> 
> Enjoy!

Grimmjow hadn’t been in the eleventh for long but he liked it - not that he’d admit it to _anyone_. The whacky division was right up his alley – crazy, energetic, loyal and most importantly: always down for a fight. Or drink. Or both.

So when he strolled into the courtyard to a lot of them running around liked a disturbed anthill, excited energy floating around he couldn’t help himself and had to investigate what all the fuss was about. Maybe someone dyed Kenpachi’s Haori pink (again)? Or insulted the wrong person? Probably a drinking contest going out of hand. Could have been anything with these dumbasses.

Hands in his pockets he strolled closer to the apparent centre of activity to take a closer look. The idiots were all excited about boxes of … fruit? What? Coming to a stop near Ikkaku and Yumichika he watched on, puzzled. Ikkaku looked kind of bored and Yumichika had a twinkle in his eyes Grimmjow already learned to keep tabs on.

“Grimmjow-san~, nice of you to join us”, grinned Ayasegawa at him. “What are these morons so excited about?”, he drawled back while leaning on the wall next to a slouching Ikkaku. He knew that these two were strong but also not as unhonourable as to attack without a good reason or warning – a good fight was better than taking easy winnings after all. Besides, they didn’t seem to despise him as a lot of the Shinigamis did.  
He mentally shrugged and continued to watch the unseated minions distribute or just eat the fruit out of the boxes. He saw mostly apples, pears and bananas; he had never eaten any of these as Aizen was fond to flaunt his ‘riches’ and only a selected few were allowed to enjoy them. Not that he cared. Or even needed them. He couldn’t understand what all the fuss was about fancy fruit anyway.

Ikkaku scratched his head. “The fourth apparently decided that we are living too ‘unhealthy’, so they send some fruit an’ shit.” Yumichika sighed, “they are not wrong you know.” Brushing his hair back with an exaggerated motion he continued, “for a beautiful appearance, like _me_ , you need to have a balanced diet! Not that these unsightly heathens would appreciate it.”  
Madarame just looked at him with a raised eyebrow. “Why haven’t you saved some of those then? They’ll eat everything, y’know. Free food is free food after all!” A haughty sniff was his answer. “I already did! I can’t let them get their dirty paws on my food, can I?” Shaking his head, the Arrancar tuned out the bantering pair and watched the others boisterously enjoying their free food. A small group sat nearby on some empty crates and was chatting and eating mostly undisturbed.

Knowing that he wouldn’t win a verbal fight against Yumichika about nutrition and beauty, Ikkaku turned back to Grimmjow and pointed to the crates with food with his chin. “You don’t wanna grab some before they eat everything?”  
“Naah, why would I? Do I look like I need this shit?”, he grinned back at the pair in mock-challenge while making himself more comfortable leaning against the wall. Ayasegawa raised an eyebrow and gave him an exaggerated once-over to play along while Ikkaku just rolled his eyes good naturedly.

At the same time, someone stumbled into the group sitting on the crates due to some roughhousing nearby and accidently half fell on some poor dude who immediately choked on the banana he was eating. Spluttering and shouting ensued and a few fell off their seats laughing. Ikkaku snorted and Yumichika just watched on, eyebrow still raised, judging silently. Grimmjow didn’t try to understand what was being shouted but it was obviously some heckling at the expense of the banana guy. Though, _why did he choke?_

Noticing the Arrancar’s contemplative face, Ikkaku elbowed him in the side “What’s up with the extra frowney face, huh?” Half-heartedly swatting at the offending appendage, Grimmjow hesitated for a second but then just went for it. “Why was that guy choking? They didn’t land on his windpipe or anything, just his back.” Their two heads turned so fast to stare at him it nearly gave him whiplash just watching.  
Yumichika’s other eyebrow now joined the first one at his hairline, not quite sure whether this was a joke question or not. But seeing Grimmjow’s puzzled expression he decided to answer cautiously. “Because…. He got a banana shoved down his throat? Without warning at that?” That just got him a derisive snort. “Yeah, I saw that! But why did he _choke_?”

The pair just blinked at him for a moment. Feeling a bit uncomfortable now, the Arrancar refused to back down now. He wanted _answers_. After opening and closing his mouth a few times, Ikkaku seemed to be able to find his voice. Finally. “Because, y’know, of his gag-reflex?”, came the rather confused answer. Grimmjow tilted his head in thought. “Gag-reflex? What’s that for, huh?”  
“For vomiting or… or spitting out stuff that gets shoved down your throat, so you don’t asphyxiate or shit like that!”

While Madarame tried to explain, Yumichika’s eyes went wide. Shoving a squawking Ikkaku out of the way to take over his spot right next to Grimmjow he leaned in, glint in his eyes back. “Soooo… What I get out of this enquiry is this: _you_ don’t have a gag-reflex?” A bit unnerved now he stared right back and didn’t move an inch. Not knowing why this was so important he decided to humor Ayasegawa with an answer. “Apparently not”, Grimmjow drawled, “sounds rather like a nuisance than any help t’me anyway.” His grin turned sharp, showing his customary toothy leer. “Eating Hollows in small pieces sounds rather slow to me. You’ve ever eaten in a desert? Sand _everywhere._ ”  
Instead of being weirded out like most Shinigami did when he mentioned his different nature, Yumichika just hummed his acquiescence and scratched at his chin in contemplation. Ikkaku just groaned. “I know that face…” Shoving his finger into Grimmjow’s face, a predatory smile appeared at the same time on the dark haired one.

“Prove it.”

Now it was time for blue eyebrows to raise higher. Ikkaku just groaned louder. “Why would I do that?” Yumichika crossed his arms. “Because I don’t believe that you can eat a banana whole without choking on it.” He tilted his head in the direction of the crates. “See it as a challenge, if you will.” He paused slightly, “… or are you afraid that you cannot back up your words?”  
Grimmjow didn’t get what all the fuss was about, really, but these Shinigamis were just weird sometimes. It probably was a mutual feeling, he mused. And those two earned his grudging respect, so why not. Besides, retreating now would insinuate weakness and the former Espada didn’t do _weakness_. Not that it was hard to eat a banana, he had eaten Hollows. Whole.

That he couldn’t resist a challenge also helped.

“ _Che_ ”, he sneered while pushing himself off the wall he was leaning on. Without another word he sauntered over to the crates, navigating through the crowd effortlessly. Yumichika trailed after him eagerly and Ikkaku couldn’t help but follow as well, his curiosity piqued. Grimmjow stopped next to a crate further back, still full of fruit. None of the unseated dared to interfere, as they knew it would not end well for them. Stopping a short distance away, they watched him peruse the fruit still on offer. He picked one of the larger bananas and, with a grin in their direction, peeled it nonchalantly and shoved it in his mouth.

All the way in.

Without batting an eye.

Tilting his head back a little he used his index finger to shove it even further down, finally swallowing the banana whole.

Ikkaku’s jaw nearly hit the ground - together with a few ones of the other members of the eleventh who stopped whatever they were doing and stared. The rest of courtyard was obliviously bustling on in the background.  
“Oh my…”, came the surprisingly smug reaction from Yumichika. Shoving his hands back into his pockets, Grimmjow raised one eyebrow. “Believe me now?”, he grinned at his challenger. “Oh yes indeed…”, came the rather salacious reply, “thank you for the … _demonstration_ , Grimmjow-san.”

Ikkaku barely picked up his jaw off the floor and rounded on Yumichika, spluttering. “Yumichika, no!” Batting his eyelashes at the bald Shinigami, Ayasegawa put on an innocent face that fooled exactly _no one_. “What do you mean, Ikkaku-kun? I just thanked him for performing the challenge...”

Ignoring the arguing pair, Grimmjow watched in amusement how the Shinigami scattered quite hastily with their scavenged fruit, knowing perfectly well that a squabble between those two could escalate rather quickly. He used the opportune moment of inattention to leave the premises himself unhurriedly. Who knew what strange challenges they could come up with after all.

Shinigamis were weird.

But fun.  
  


Nobody noticed that he took an entire bundle of bananas for himself. They were surprisingly tasty after all.

**Author's Note:**

> *Grimmjow shoving a banana down his throat became the title pic of the next issue of the Shinigami Women’s Association paper 
> 
> Alternative title: _no gag reflex Grimmjow_
> 
> Comments are welcome! :)


End file.
